Block Party

A representative from CBS came to our neighborhood on Friday last week to meet with some of the Grayhawk homeowners that might be interested in participating in a new reality series they are currently calling "Block Party". She was presenting to a packed house held in the small Grayhawk Community Office. It was standing room only.

Here's basically what they're looking for:



This audition is not exclusive to our neighborhood, so if you and 7 of your neighbors want to do this feel free to send in an audition tape. The sooner the better! The tape should be about 9 minutes long, 1 minute to introduce your neighborhood and 1 minute for each of the 8 households. Introduce yourself and have each member of the family introduce themselves, so they can see and hear even the kids. They want a little background of what you do and or how you would describe your family. They're looking for varied backgrounds...a psychologist, a zoo keeper, a cocktail waitress. Is your family like the Osmonds? or the Osbournes?

They are planning to film for 3 weeks in the summer and all 8 families will need to take time off of work, so they're offering each family a $5,000 stipend if they're chosen.

They didn't mention what the competitions would entail, but CBS is also home of the Amazing Race and Survivor, so you can kinda get a good idea of the extent of challenges you could face. Food Challenge, Bungee jumping, etc. Prizes would also be offered for each challenge, too. Maybe a remodel of a room in the house, or a car, or landscaping -- you get the idea.

My friend has the perfect neighborhood to apply to this. They have block parties all the time and would have no problem finding 8 households close together. The main issue is they're worried what it would do to the relationships with their neighbors. I mean, who wants to know what the neighbors really feel about you? After the cameras are all gone, you've still got to live with these people. So, I'm not sure if they'll be applying.

It'd be great to have it somewhere within Grayhawk, though. It'd be nice to showcase the neighborhood to a national audience. Even though Scottsdale gets such a bad rap!

Scottsdale Haters

No, I'm not a native, but I've seen my share of the "Dirty Scottsdale" that is portrayed in different media - the $30K millionaires and the cougars hopped up on restylane.



My friend was at a cougar hang out, Ely's, chatting with some older ladies when one of them talked about how she loves that she never gets mosquito bites in Arizona. He answered, nonchalantly, "Well, that's because they're allergic to botox." Ahh, I don't know why he didn't get slapped right there.

Really, you do see your shares of DBs in the club scene and it does get crazy out there. But c'mon, is it Scottsdale's fault? Half the people going to those clubs aren't even from Scottsdale.

Anyway, so what if people have a little more money out here?! So what if the way you can tell the difference between the student and teacher parking lot at the high school is by the number of Hummers, Beamers and Mercedes in the lot. We're not all like that. We have the same problems like everyone else in the valley. Like the traffic to drop of my kids at the elementary school. I still have to line up in that long trail of Range Rovers and wait...and wait...and wait...and I keep waiting, but that damn valet never comes.

We're not all raising "Scottsdale Brats" out here either. My kids work hard for their stuff. If they want an ipod or an x-box, they use their own hard earned money.

This article asks "Why does Scottsdale Hate Itself?"

My answer, it doesn't. I love it out here. It's beautiful. It's laid back. It's safe. My neighbors are friendly. The schools are great. Even our freakin' new library is awesome! (How geeky am I? But really, it's awesome.) I think the real Scottsdale haters are the people who probably aren't from Scottsdale anyway and buy into the Scottsdale stereotype.

So, go ahead, listen to the Scottsdale stereotypes. I laugh at them, too. But that's just what it is, a stereotype. I know what type of "Scottsdale Mom" I am, and it's not the stereotype, nor are all the other "Scottsdale Mom's" I've come to know.

I gotta get going. My nanny has to leave and I've still got to call "Waiters on Wheels" for dinner before I head out to my friends Wine, Cheese, and Botox party.

Dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge

Quatro de Mayo - Scottsdale, AZ

BT and I took this beautiful afternoon to celebrate Quatro de Mayo with some cerveza's at the Sandbar. A fun bar in North Scottsdale where the outdoor patio is covered in sand, complete with a little beach. I once asked the bouncer how often do people jump in the beach and he says at least one a night...more on the weekends.

Today, the place had even more sand trucked in and covered half the parking lot to set up for the annual dodge ball tournament. BT had met some people the night before at the new neighborhood Mexican restaurant, Pinatas. They were team "Money Shot" and invited us to watch them compete.



It was just like the movie. All the teams with their witty names and their cool uniforms...Dolls with Balls, Balls to the Wall, Average Joes, basically anything that had to do with balls. Although, I know the basic rules of dodge ball, competitive dodge ball has some extra little rules that I had no idea about.

Like, what's up with the one guy with the head band? Why is it that if there's one person left, after a while, the whole team gets to get back on the field? Why is the person slowly rolling the ball back to the other team and not trying to get any out?

Well after a few more coronas and a few more matches we finally figured things out. It helped that we were standing next to a team that played on a dodge ball league. The guy with the head band is the "dead man walking". If you get that guy out, you win the game automatically. There's also a time limit of how long the last person can stay on the court. If you can't get that last person out in a certain amount of time, then the whole team gets to get back on. This only happens once. Finally, rolling the ball back to the other team is usually because that person can't throw very well. It's safer to roll it back so that they don't catch the ball and get you out.

My husband is determined to get a team together for next year. A lot of the people there aren't on leagues, or haven't played dodge ball since third grade. Other teams don't play except once a year at this event, like Team Money Shot. One team had a professional basketball player playing on their team, Richard Jefferson of the New Jersey Nets, formerly Golden State Warriors. He graduated from U of A so is one of our local sport celebrities.

There Was a Party in Scottsdale, then a Golf Tournament Broke Out.

If I could sum up the FBR Open, formerly Phoenix open, it would be in this one picture, a sunny Friday afternoon, drinking beers, lake front with a view of the 18th hole:

My sister-in-law Ann Marie has tickets for the Super Bowl so arrived from Foxboro late Thursday Night. We told her that the trip to Arizona would not be complete if she didn't go to the golf tournament dubbed "The Greatest Show On Grass".

Upon entering the tournament welcome tent, I promptly lost my husband in the crowd. There was record attendance of 120,000 that day. Doesn't anybody work anymore?? It's a friday afternoon! I actually took the day off just for this.

So, we headed to the 16th Green where we had agreed to meet if we were separated. This is probably not the most ideal meeting place, since the 16th hole is the most busiest, craziest, wildest part of the tournament. There is nothing else like it in golf. It's a par 3 of about 160-something yards, surrounded by stands. These 153 corporate boxes cost $45,000 each for a total of $6.9 million - the most profitable 160 yards in all of the PGA.

The roar from the crowd is incredible when you tee off and hit the green, but when you don't hit it, get ready for the BOOs and the taunts.


I did find my husband an hour later behind the 16th green, a beer in his hand and talking to two dark-haired, beautiful ladies which turned out to be sisters. One quickly said "We were just networking." I love it. Is that the new excuse? I thanked them for keeping him company and told him that I'm sure he didn't mind the beautiful escorts.

He told me that he was starving and had to get something to eat at the corporate tents before trying to look for us. He knew we had a meeting place. I railed at him for not answering his phone. I had called him 9 times, left a couple of voicemails and text messages. I was worried. He said he didn't think to call. He was worried about pulling out his phone, a forbidden item to bring into the tournament. Also, he didn't realize I had snuck my phone in, too.

After we regrouped, we headed for the corporate tents to get our share of free beer and the great view of the approach to the 18th. We passed by the Greenskeeper lot, an area full of tents and tables where you pay hundreds of dollars to drink, eat and party. I noticed there was absolutely no view of any golf from there. I'm sure that half of the 120,000 people that day didn't know the first thing about golf. Golf watching is definitely over-shadowed by people watching. People come dressed to impress. I've seen stiletto heels, revealing tops, short skirts, you name it. I've heard it said that FBR not only stands for the Friedman, Billings, Ramsey Group, Inc that sponsors the tournament, it could also mean, the Fake Boob Round-Up. We definitely have seen our share of them whenever we go.

Even I wore heels, and my black tank top with "Grayhawk Mom" written in Swarovski crystals, a shirt I purchased from my daughter's school PTA. Grayhawk is not only our neighborhood and school, the golf course is renowned. Phil Mickelson used to play there all the time, and many of the local FBR golfers consider Grayhawk their home course. Including past FBR winners, like JB Holmes, who is currently in the lead today.

Yes, a golf tournament does go on here. I actually was able to see one of my favorite hottie golfers tee off at 11. I would have enjoyed seeing him putt, too. He has the most interesting stance when he gets as low as he can to see the lay of the land and the ball. And on the 16th green, one guy was booed for missing the green on the tee off. Then when he chipped on, it completely skipped over the green and landed on the other side. He didn't hear the end of it! The 16th is not for the faint of heart.

It was a beautiful day for golf. Although a frost warning and 31 degree weather at dawn delayed the golf, it warmed up to the 60s and the lack of wind made it feel even warmer. The tournament is just about 3 miles from my home, so it's a must-go event for me every year.

One degree to Paris Hilton

My husband was having a boys night, so my girlfriend and I were contemplating the FBR (Phoenix Open) Birds Nest Thursday night. KC and the Sunshine band would be playing. Everything was pretty much in the air, so I was letting the wind blow me where it would.

It turned out a friend of ours had VIP tickets to the 944 event that evening; Paris Hilton, 50 cent, Wyclef Jean, the list goes on. We parked at the Fashion Square garage near Nordstrom. The area was buzzing with lights, police, stretch limousines, hummers, pedi cabs and tons of people walking around. They dressed in either warm bundled clothes, or mini skirts and even mini-er tops, braving the cold desert night.

Walking out of the garage, the first person we run into is a tall, long haired woman in her late 20s in the street crying. One of my friends went up to her to find out what was wrong? She just cried and babbled, so he gave her a hug. We could barely get anything understandable out of her.

"Are you OK?"

"I think I'll be OK if I just get a cigarette." Was the first coherent thing I heard from her.

I introduced myself, just the first of many times. Her name was Nicole.
"Why don't you walk with us and we'll find you a cigarette." I offered.

As we walked toward the 944 tent entrance about a block away, I locked arms with her. It was awkward because she had to be 6 inches taller than me, plus she was wearing heeled boots and was swaying from the drinks she must've had earlier. I tried to keep us from both falling in a mess of hair, heels and tears.

"Thanks for hanging out with me. I'm Nicole. What's your name?"
This conversation went on until I found some friends who had arrived in another car and I bummed a cigarette off of them.

"You are so cool to help me out." She said to me, "I'm Nicole. What's your name?"
She smoked her cigarette and it seemed that it did help her. She started to actually start making sense. "Believe it or not, they kicked me out because they said I was too drunk!"

I don't know if I rolled my eyes right to her face as she said this, or if I just did it in my mind 'Too drunk? ya think?'

"But, I got to take a picture with Paris Hilton! I did." She took out her digital camera. We gathered round it and I could see Paris's familiar blonde hair amidst a crowd of other, darker heads. It looked like she had hoisted her camera above the crowd to snap the pic. The next couple pics were about the same. I was pretty impressed about how close she actually got to the celebrity. But then the final pic, there was my new friend Nicole cheek to cheek with the hotel heiress herself, both of them smiling beautifully toward the camera.

She did it! She actually got a picture with her. Too funny!

"There's the general admission section, then there's the VIP section then there's the even more VIP section, where Paris was," she explained. Nicole, in her own drunken way somehow made it to the Very-VIP section, without the proper credentials and got her picture taken with Paris. Something, which my husband later read, that would normally cost you $100.00 to do.

I guess she was immediately escorted out of the 944 event and tossed into the cold streets of Fashion Square.

She wanted a group picture of us, so we posed as a passer by snapped our pic. Then one of my friends gave her his email address, which I knew she would promptly either lose or forget who/why she even has that email address. She suggested we walk around to look for her friends, and I walked with her for about 10 feet before turning around. She didn't realize that she lost me until she was down the street. She turned around and walked back, but I hid behind a friend. Sorry, Nicole. It was great meeting you, but you are a drunken heap of hair, heels and tears.

Our friend wasn't able to get us the VIP passes he talked about, so we hung out across the street at Olive and Ivy, which was crowded, warm and loud. It was a wonderful time, even if Paris couldn't hang out with us.

At Brady's House

Tomorrow, the Patriots will be arriving in Phoenix for Super Bowl Week. They'll be staying just a couple miles down the street from me at The Westin Kierland Resort. We actually went by the hotel yesterday. We sat in the lobby for a bit. There were several seating areas with couches and small wooden tables directly in front of the seats."If I engraved 'Go Pats!' in the wood, do you think the team will see it?", I asked my husband. He assured me that the Westin would probably not appreciate me defacing their lobby furniture.

Around sunset we went behind the resort to relax by the firepit overlooking the golf course and lake. As I looked up at the guest rooms above, I wondered which of these windows Tom will be looking out of next week.

It was 5 o'clock and the sun was getting ready to set when a lone bagpiper in full on Scottish regalia walks out to the 18th green and begins playing. The instrument is mesmerizing and the juxtaposition of the Scottish Highlands with the High Desert was surreal. Nice touch, Kierland.

Office Pranks

A new manager started today, and to welcome him to the family properly, the natives decorated his office accordingly.


Yeah, I know, foiled again! It's not original, but it's always entertaining.


This reminds me of the office prank we pulled on my boss last year for his birthday. His office was snowed in...cotton balls, snowflakes hanging from the ceiling, painted snow on the windows. Along with this, I created a headline that looked like it was straight out of the Arizona Republic, complete with articles about the "freak" snowstorm.

The actual text of the articles are below:

Hell Freezes Over - Snow in the Sonoran desert Stuns Scottsdale

Scottsdale, Arizona - A freak snowstorm stuns employees of Homestore, Inc. in Scottsdale, Arizona, when a storm cell converged on an office within the warehouse style office building. “It was bizarre. I’ve never seen anything like it.” Jon Davis, Homestore Facilities Manager exclaims about the devastation. “The snow completely blanketed the office of one of our employees, Allen Cook.

Cook is Vice President of Operations for Homebuilder.com, one of the companies in Homestore, Inc.’s network of media and technology solutions for homebuyers, builders and real estate professionals was out of the office at the time of the snowstorm. There were no reported casualties aside from an i-dog that may have suffered some frostbite to his ears.

White Christmas – HomeBuilder, Inc employees snap camera phone images of the storms aftermath.
Photo AP

Today’s Quick Read
Nation & World

Landmark birthday: The oldest man to work full time celebrates his birthday this week. Allen Cook of Scottsdale, AZ was applauded by the federal government. A statement from the White House claims “More citizens should take after Mr. Cook’s example and continue to work after retirement age. This could resolve our Nation’s social security problems completely.”

Dollar Store Cotton Ball Shortage: Dollar stores across north Phoenix and Scottsdale have reported a shortage of cotton balls this weekend. “I’ve had to put in an emergency order, “ says Bell Road Dollar Store owner, Owen Lee A. Buck. “I don’t understand it. We are going through our books to see if the cotton balls were stolen or never delivered. I’d hate to have to raise our prices because of this. That would mean renaming the store and everything!”

In keeping with the theme, you see the poster on the wall of his office is this snowball.